Today's Grab Bag of Thoughts

Tonight I was on yahoo messenger with my lil sister.  If you are new to this blog this doesn't sound weird at all. However, my lil sister passed away over a year and a half ago.  It hurts like it was yesterday and it feels like ages since I heard her voice and laugh.  Yes I realize that she couldn't answer me, but I saw her name and couldn't resist.  I want to tell her so much.  I want to show her how awesome Alyssa is.  I want her to know how smart Matthew is.  I want her to know Haley eats on her own now.  I want her too laugh at my stories.  Shake her head and agree with me on issues.  I want her to tell me I am crazy.  I wanted her to talk back.  To tell me how awesome Heaven is.  I wanted to know how my grandparents are.  I wanted to know if God gave her my child to raise while I am here on earth.  I wanted to know if all our dogs and cats are still hang out with her.  Are the chihuahuas still all over grandma D.  Is God as wonderful as we say he is? How is she feeling

It's Wednesday night again and as I walk to my normal table at the local Starbucks I wonder will he come in?  Will he walk into this place again and smile at me.  As I sit listening to the jazz music that fills the air and playing the simpsons tapped, I reallize that the time is just creeping away.  Why isnt it 8pm yet.  Will he and his son walk-in?  Will this be the day that he talks to me?  Will this be the day I get the guts up to say hi to him?  Will he stay for a bit today or hurry out like usual.   Many people walk in and out all night and I barely notice them.  Then suddenly as I get absorbed in facebook or something I hear his voice.  I slowly stop slouching, but seriously like he didnt already see me slouching.  Maybe he likes slouching.  Did he see me at all?  Does he see me every week?  So obsessed my brain starts going miles per minute.  What am I going to do if my starbuck gift card runs out?  I could build a gofundme.com page and have people donate to my dating fund.

It was about 3:30 in the morning and the room was very still.  There was only a slight bit of light coming in through the window casting shadows of various greys and black all around.  The house was silent, except for the sound of the cat litter box making its screeching noise as it cleaned.  Moments after it completed its duty, a small whisper could be heard.  "Mommy...Mom...Mommy", but there was no answer to the whisper.  "Mommmy" said the small voice.  Then in return "what?" said the mom.  The whisper came from a small scared child.  "Mommy I am scared." she said.  "Huh?  I can't hear you.  You are talking too quietly" said the mom.  "I am scared.  When I open my eyes I see shadows." the child said.  "That is because there are a lot of things in this room and the small light makes them cast a shadow.  You'll be fine I am right here." said the extremely tired mom.  "But I can't sleep." the chi

Let me just start out by saying what there are not too many options in: 1. Good single Godly Men 2. Ice cream flavors 3. Comfortable shoes 4. Good, reliable and honest friends 5. Good TV show Ok seriously I should really get back to the whole point of this blog post.  I guess I have already illustrated my point that there are too many things that I could go on about.  This post is about how many different book ideas that are running through my head.  No to mention all of the books I have already started here on this trusty ipad.  Maybe I should take a vote on which one my readers want to read. BEWARE THERE ARE TOO MANY OPTIONS, but each has value and an interesting point of view...ifI don't say so myself.  Below is a list of the working titles. 1. Pay Attention to me, Please!  - this was orginally my memoirs, but has kind of morfied into a collection of short stories of my life. 2. The Red Wine Choronicles - this either a whole book on one insident or multiple funny true stories of