Today's Grab Bag of Thoughts

Since I got engaged in September of last year, I knew that I wanted to make my own wedding dress even though I had only been sewing for a year.  Crazy?  Yeah I am sure many people believe that I am.   Why would you do that?   Aren't you scared?   Are you just trying to save money? My answers, Why not?  Yes, I am scared and no I am not trying to save any money.  In fact if you add up all the time it will take me to do it, it would probably cost more.  But honestly, why am I sewing my own wedding dress??? As I sit here trying to put my whole thought process into words, it is a bit harder that I thought.  To me the wedding dress is a very personal thing.  You'll wear the dress once and it will be a day of big celebration but also one of serious commitment.  This day changes your life.  You can't get a do over on your wedding day.  So why would I put that pressure on myself on purpose?  L...

HI Stacy! Hope Heaven is treating you well.  We sure miss you here on earth.  I am sure you are watching us daily, but just in case you are missing the finer details let me fill you in on your kids.  They, just like me, miss you.  We all wish that tomorrow was a day of celebration not a day of remembrance.  But I guess we should celebrate that you are not in pain anymore and that all three of yours children are being well taken care of. Hey did you hear that I am FINALLY getting married?  You would totally like the guy.  He's so great.  He's a big goofball like me but very loyal, caring and helpful.  He treats us all with respect and has only the best intentions when it comes to the kids.  We will rock this parenting thing together.  These kids will have an additional person to fill them up with love. So what have you missed in the last 5 years?  Unfortunately a lot.  It makes me sad sometimes to remember what t...

In July of 2012 - my sister and husband entrusted me with the lives of their 3 children.  Though it did not work out that way in the end, it is still incredible to me that someone believed in me that much.  This last year has taught me that without God in our lives we would be lost.  That my sister knew that it wasn't just trust she had for me, it was faith in me and in what God was telling her.  Who am I to second guess that?   Though being a single mom can be trying at times, lonely or hard...it is the most rewarding and only worth while thing I have done with my life. I'm not looking for praise and recognition from the world my peers or anyone.  I am doing what I know God put me on earth to do.  Raise this little soul to love God, her family and to treat everyone with respect.  To show her that life isn't always what we planned or wanted, but we can overcome anything with him by our side.  That loss is hard but not impossible to get past....

Day one of the 40's...so far so good.  Why was 25 so hard and 40 so easy?  Well that is because at 25  I had so many plans for myself.  I wanted so much for myself and I kept saying that by 25 I should be xyz. Well now, I have realized or come to accept that God has a plan for me and that it all will come out in his time.   My plans be married by 25...God's plans married when and if he wants to. My plans have kids only after marriage...God's plans raise my sweet niece now. My plans move up the ladder and get that title...God's plans go teach to get a perspective on life, then realize that life is much more than the title you have unless that title is MOM.  My plans never rely on anyone for anything...God's plans show me that life is about relationships and letting your guard down sometimes and letting people in and let them help.  Humbling.  We could go one for ever at this...but you can see that God's plan is always better than ours.  I may ...