Today's Grab Bag of Thoughts

Well time to say that my blog is my opinion and only that. This is how I see it and how I have experienced it. Others may or may not agree with it. Others may think I am mean but in reality this is just how I see things. If you think there is only one side to every story then of course you are wrong. It just so happens I write from the heart and how I feel. Should I stop and sensor myself, sure maybe but sadly I don't always. I guess that is what you call passionate. It helps me to write and open up but maybe I need a disclaimer on every post that says " the following words represent me pure opinion and nothing more than that" The end.

Question: what are your memories of Stacy? She Loved to decorate cakes with Grandma. Grandma, Stacy and I would sit on couch together and do the plastic canvas. We would go to Gerti's house and play "office" in her office. We loved to roller skate in Grandma's driveway while listening to music (we would pretend we were ice skating). I remember that we would iron our doll clothes in the back room. Going swimming at the neighborhood park. Oh my goodness,I remember we were at a neighbor's house playing pool and she kept poking me with that stupid stick, and I ended up throwing that 8ball at her (of course I felt really bad later)... We were never asked to go back lol. I remember all the costume contest we did. Oh my goodness, I remember us playing chicken with the trains (her idea)! Fun times at the water park/except when she would sit on me under water! I have a scar on my leg from the time she threw me into closet doors, all these memories... Stacy was dete

As I spent today writing my sister's eulogy it started to hit me all the things Stacy will miss and we will miss having her at. When my first grandparent died I was sad that She would never meet my husband or kids. That they would never know how wonderful she was. Then a couple years after as my grandpa passed I stared to hurt more And I wished that I would be able to share those big life events with my remaining grandparents. After another 2 years my remaing Grandmother passes away and my heart is crushed. With one remaining Grandpa and no marriage are children in the immediate future I grow sad that my family may never know what a great family I came from and meet the patriarchs. I never once though that I would be doing all those things without my baby sister. 32 is too young to lose your life. I want her there if those big events happen. Yes that is selfish and yes I know she and my grandparents are in a better place, but everyone else had them there. :-(. Speed pas

Today my baby sister has gone to Heaven. There are no words to really express what I am feeling right now. This will be one of those rambling posts that means nothing to anyone else but me, but I feel better to get this off my chest. You are in no more pain and you have finally become strong again. I'm am so glad that God gave us the 5 months that we got. You know I thought that old doctor was crazy when he said about 6 months to live, but I guess they do know more than we do. These last few months have been great even though living on two coasts was hard at times, it was still worth it. Being able to be with you and talk and help you and really realize how much you loved and trusted me even if you could not say out loud. You trusted me with your life and your children. What can I say but WOW, ARE YOU CRAZY? :-) HAVE YOU MET ME? My sweet sister, you were also loved more than my words could say. I will always have a piece of my heart that your memories will fill. I kno

NEVER STOP PRAYING, NEVER LOSE YOUR FAITH. Even when things are not going the way you want them just never stop praying. It may not seem like God is listening but he is. It may not seem he is answering you but he is, even in silence he is answering your prayers. Keep reading if you want to see how GREAT God is and how the power of prayer and faith work wonders. Friday was a very crazy and emotional day. For many hours on Friday we were worried about the well being of my nieces. It seemed they had been abducted by their Father with the attempt to take custody of them away from my sister. We worried that we'd not see them anymore. We worried that this news would harm my sister's already failing health. So I put out a prayer request on Facebook hoping that God would hear all our prayers and bring them back safe and sound. RESULT - They are home, safe, happy and ready for a visit from their Aunt. Friday at 8:20pm on the platform of the Imperial/Wilmington green line s

Well today was a very emotional day. My dreams of having my sister and the kids here in Cali slightly stalled. Then As I am waiting for the Metro some teenage (obviously desperate) kid robbed me and ran away with my iPad while of course no one helped me even the men standing around on the platform. Luckily I was unhurt just shook up. But even with things looking down it is nothing compared to what Jesus went through for me. I am willing to take a few bumps and bruises for the chance of eternal life. Yes, I praise him a lot...if it offends you I am sorry but my faith gets me through even the darkest of days like today. Today's trouble will be tomorrow successes. God has a plan for my life even if I don't understand it or like the battles I have to fight for the happiness of tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, come what may. :-)

Isn't that a funny question? It is so basic but it can actually be one of the deepest question someone can ask you. It can be surface as well as intimate. The hard part about the question is knowing in what way is the person asking it means to hear your answer. It is sort of like the word "love". People throw that word around so much that its meaning is now so everyday. I love pizza. I love soda. I love ------ fill in the blank. It takes out the strong feelings, the intimacy and specialness of those four little letters. Oh how I digress. Where was I? Oh How am I? Let me answer that a few ways. 1. The casual acquaintance: Hi I am fine thank you. How are you? (I really do want to know) 2. The "friend": Good, thanks for asking. 3. Friends you see less frequently: I am doing well, things are kind of crazy but as you know life has its ups and downs. What have you been up to? 4. True friends and family: Hmm where do I start. How much time do you have? I re

Sometime l think I take for granted what wonderful parents I have. I have heard my friends talk about either how their parents are or weren't there for them or unfortunately have passed on or parents that care but only in good times. My parents care in good times and bad. They support us even if we do stupid things. They help as much as they physically can and won't stop until the job/issue is done. I am blessed with parents that know parenthood does not end with adulthood. Dang if they gave up with us that soon I would be screwed. My parents are so awesome, from helping us emotionally to monetarily my parents are always there. They would walk through fire for us. What a blessing that is. You could never ask for two better people to raise you. I know that if I become a single mother of three - when Stacy goes home to heaven, that my parents will be right by my side. I won't be afraid. I know we as a family can make any tragedy work. God has a plan for us all even i