I know you "mean" well, but...
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?" The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way: "Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defends and admires.
Mermaids do not exist. But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side? Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends. We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated. Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "
Immediately after I posted this message, I knew that someone on my friends list would be like..."but obesity is not healthy" or "you of all people should know being overweight is not something to strive for" OR think "How could she post that, it's not like Terri is that big" I could go on. BUT that was not my point at all. My point is why is weight the issue? If you are living your life to the fullest and you are giving your all but you weigh more that you "should" why is that have to be seen as bad. Sure there are tons of health issues with being over weight, but before you just look at someone and pass judgement on them why don't you get to know them or at least give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe just maybe their is a reason. LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE OR WHAT THE WORLD WANTS YOU TO BE. Life isn't about always being on a diet, or having to fit in the jeans you bought 10 years ago
A good friend of mine said it perfectly!
"I have gained my weight since I have been ill and I share these things because I know it feels bad to be judged on weight when other people have no clue why it is someone is heavy. I'm not lazy. I don't eat too much. I walk as much as I can. I eat so much less than my husband. I literally don't get on a scale because it is so upsetting. I have twelve medications and no less than five have side effects of weight gain and swelling. I manage my pain first, and everything else next. So in order for me to feel beautiful or even just think for a second that maybe people might think I might look pretty again despite my weight I share this so that I might have that hope. I try to be healthy as best as I can and that's all I can hope for right now. I already feel judged, but to know it and have it confirmed breaks my heart."
But you know this goes WAY BEYOND just the fat/skinny thing. We are a family with disabled members, with members who have special needs, we are "fat" and we are "skinny" we are one mom with two kids who both have different last names...we are a family that lives with their parents...we are a broken and mended family. We have drug problems, we've over came them. We are a disconnected and reconnected family. WE are a bunch of people that love each other but still judge people. We are imperfect and I don't get it but I get it. God made everyone in the world for a purpose. Some seem to have lives "easier" than others, some have more "struggles" but each one of us is different and walking through a life that is ours and ours alone. WE don't need that look, that shake of a head, or those condescending words or the words that sound positive, loving and "helpful" but are just another way of you saying you don't agree with my decisions or you are better than me.
"Who Am I" - Blanca
<soap box stepped off of>
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