Let's be real....Entitlement (a personal opinion)
Right: a just claim or title, whether legal, prescriptive, or moral
Claim: a demand for something as due; an assertion of a right or an alleged right
The definitions just keep going around and around, but the FACT is that there is little in life that we are entitled to. I love how a fellow blogger put it (www.momonthemove35.com/10-things-you-don't-owe-your-child/) "You don’t have to feel guilty for being the parent that says no. There are many things in life that we DO “owe” our children. As parents, we owe them our unconditional love, respect, and endless forgiveness. They deserve a place to call home, food to keep them healthy, and an education that will help them later in life... We do not need to feel guilty saying, “NO” to our children! In fact, I’m thankful to parents who say no to their children. Sometimes the best way to love your child is to say no!"
I love how she puts it. I can't claim to not spoil my kids every now and then, but ask my kids and they will say 7 times out of 10 their mom will probably say "no" and this isn't because I am mean, but because they don't need it, it isn't necessary or we don't have the money. I am not putting myself in debt to give my child the best of the best in clothes, shoes, games or what ever the next craze is, because their will always be something they "NEED"
I am a hard working mom, that knows how to save and plan. We do many wonderful things all year long but sometimes I just have to say no. Does giving them their every desire make them happy or stop asking? Of course not, I tenderly look at them and say...I understand you want that but you don't needed it. Unfair? Sure to the mind of a child yes, does it come with a fit? Sure sometimes, but hey I never got everything I wanted and I turned out pretty darn good. Reward my kids for good behavior? Sure sometimes, but really aren't they supposed to listen, make good decisions and be respectful? Words of praise, hugs, kisses and smiles are free and go far with most kids. I got rewarded for goals and good grades....so do my kids. Yes, I wrote goals, LOL we're a big soccer family.
The world is not fair and we are only doing our children a disservice if we teach them it is. Everyone does not win. - do they? I didn't get every part I audition for in plays, I didn't get a full ride to college, I got laid off from work twice and didn't do anything wrong.
We don't get everything we want. - I want a house and an endless supply of gummy bears - but I still haven't seen those. What about that pony you've always wanted, did you get it? Probably not. We can't go every place we'd like. If we could I would have already take a trip around the world and back again. Not getting something while growing up does not equal we have to give our children it. Yes inflation is every where, but it doesn't mean we have to go from the quarter the tooth fairy gave us to $5 a tooth or make allowance 10x what we got. Have to is the key. We don't have to do a lot of things, we should concentrate on doing, and doing well the things we do have to do.
Give them unconditional love, respect, and endless forgiveness. Those three alone could keep you busy way into their adult years! Give them place to call home, food and healthy food habits, an education, teach them self-respect, to love themselves and others, and value of friendship, truth and a kind word. Please don't get me wrong, I am not saying never buy your kids anything, never take them any where or anything like that. But Let's Be Real - teaching them that being remembered because you were a great friend, a trusted employee or well educated individual is much more important than you were the kid with the cool toys, cute shoes or the one that got everything.
From my heart,
T
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