I am worthless without you...

Recently I read an excerpt from a new book by Lysa TerKeurst tilted "Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely" that really hit me.  Maybe not a message specifically directed to me, but I could relate and know many people who feel unloved, left out and lonely.  We all have those days when we feel amazing and not amazing and that is normal.  Ever been uninvited somewhere?  Shunned?  Lost friends because of gossip or a poor decision?  Been a bitch? Yes, just wrote that we are all grown ups here.  :-)  What if your self-worth depended on what others think of you (or what you think they think of you)???

As I continued to read, I started to think about the world we live in and how sometimes it can be extremely unfriendly, as can we all.  Everyday someone is hurt by someone else. Sometimes it shows on the outside, but most often it is hidden deep inside,  Sometimes it is on purpose, but a lot of times we let out our thought of ourselves get in the way and take something to heart even if it wasn't meant to hurt us.

In the world of MASSIVE social media, we have started to raise our children thinking the likes and dislikes are important and each single event is more important than the next.  Heck even we feel awesome when our pictures get hundreds of likes.  The excerpt that I read likened this to relying on other people to be our soul oxygen support.  Living as if our next breath is dependent on whether or not they give us enough air for our lungs to not be screaming in pain.  Could you even imagine that?   Think out it, you can not take another breath right now until someone else breathes that life into you.  Scary huh?  There is no human being able to actually hold their breath that long or able to breath life into someone else day in and day out.  This is very unrealistic.

We need to respect ourselves enough to stop placing these unrealistic expectations on others.  NEWFLASH!!!! They will fail that test every time.  I know you've heard this before, but if you don't respect yourself, how can you expect others too?  Lysa put it better when she said " No, it's not wrong to need people.  But some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of exceptions we have of others that they can't ever possibly meet.  That's when the desire to connect becomes an unrealistic need.  Unrealistic neediness is actually greediness in disguise."  Good huh?  Essentially she is saying by having unrealistic neediness for other people to fulfill yourself, it like saying my needs and desires trump yours (no that isnt a political statement).  Put me first!  No one can ever make that type of neediness work, EVER.  Even with my kids, if I don't put my needs ahead of theirs sometimes (God forbid) I won't be healthy enough or stable enough to take care of them.  If I waited on them to approve of all my actions, to like me or rely on them to give me breath to breathe daily, I'd be a gonner.

But what is the answer?  How do we become less needy of others approval and stand on our own two feet?  We just simply walk into each day with the fullness of God and looking to bless someone else, not be looking to be blessed.  See it is that simple.  Just kidding.  For some people it is that simple, for others it is quite hard.  Why?  Life beats us down and sometimes we just want to be blessed.  This is also fine, but life is a give and take thing.  But those who rely on the fullness of God to prepare them daily will have a much easier time blessing others not not looking to be blessed all the time.  It's not that they don't need people or desire approval form others, it is that they know in their hearts they are loved, cherished and fulfilled by God's presence.

We need to make a choice daily to believe that we are loved.  This isn't something to try once, but really the only way that can work.  We tell our minds to live loved, and tell our flesh no we wont believe those horrible things we hear or feel.  The more we are able to fill out ourselves with the positive love of God, the less we will need to rely on others or our flesh to be fulfilled.  Knowing your are loved/liked versus waiting for social media to fill you up with love.  Look at this as going into battle armed with all the right weapons opposed to walking into a battle armed with a toothbrush.  Sure the toothbrush can make things shiny and look pretty for a bit, but in the long run it will be dull and  you will be right back where you started.

The same things happens if you welcome each day knowing you are loved, you are doing the best you can do (everyone messes up from time to time).  Know that this love is not dependent on your accomplishments.   Or on another person loving or accepting you or even if you love you. You are loved, God loves you fully and completely.  Lysa said it best when she said "At the core of who we are, we crave the acceptance that comes from being loved.  To satisfy this longing we will either be graspers of God's love or grabber for people's love.

Which will you be?  Remember, God does not make mistakes. You are loved, on the days you feel it and on the days you don't feel it.  His love holds us.  His love grounds us.