In the beginning...there was blame
This morning, as I was taking my daughter to school, we were listening to The Bible Experience. This is a theatrical reading of the complete Bible that is so awesome, but I digress. We just found our collection again so we were starting at the beginning, Genesis. As I am driving and listening, I started to hear it from another perspective...the parental perspective from God's eyes. God the father speaking to his children as we speak to ours. He's given them life, food, shelter (so to speak) and everything they ever need....sound familiar? He give them one rule and just like our kids (oh only my kids disobey, hmm ok keep telling yourself that) they break there rule. Temptation to have more, to have what someone else has take their brains over until they act. Then BAM SPLAT!!!!! Sin is born.
It is interesting to me that even in the bible's first few days humans are passing the buck. Adam - “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Genesis 3:12 Eve- “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Genesis 3:13 Look now at Cain, he blamed Abel for God finding more favor in his offering, but never looked at his own actions/heart. God said, "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:6-7
Dear First Humans - God gave you a brain us it! She made me, he made, they made me, are all excuses. We have free will. We are free to choose right from wrong. We are free to tell people that we are not interested in their temptations. HOWEVER, we are not to blame everyone else for the mess we've made our lives.
Luckily many people in this world survive their bad decisions and really only hurt themselves. I drove drunk, I got pulled over, I got a DUI, but do I get to say oh it is so and so's fault I was driving? NO. I don't care why I did it, I did it and it is MY FAULT not the police officer that caught me or the person that called my erratic driving in. MY FAULT AND ONLY MY FAULT. You cheat on a test and get caught, just because someone offered your the answers does not make it their fault you did it. I think you get my point. No more blame game. You have to pull yourself up, dust off your clothes, fasten those big girl or boy pants and MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR YOURSELF. Accept your mistakes, failures and seek forgiveness (if needed) but do not blame others for your life. Don't be like Cain and whine about how hard your punishment is or how hard your life will be (Genesis 4:13)...but move on and make a better life for yourself and all who your actions affect.
Yes it is true that some of the issues we have are because of someone else's awful free will choice. Those are probably the hardest to bounce back from, but what really is the choice? Lie down and just take it. Let someone else dictate who you become? Whine, withdraw, and live in self hate? NO, you have to take control. Sometimes this means removing people from your life and this can be hard, but most times necessary. It is possible to take the situations of our lives and learn from them and move on and keep moving on even if there are set backs.
Parents, you brought these kids into the world and you should be the ones teaching them to walk on their own feet, to be independent and make right choices and ultimately that it is ok to make mistakes but you need to also admit your mistakes not blame someone else. If you are the problem, change. They deserve it. Kids, if your family life ain't what you think it should be, make the best of it. Don't let them pull you down. It's time to take control and get it together, even if your parents can't. I have so much respect for two kids I know who have not had an easy childhood, but they are persevering and pouring themselves into school so that they can make a better life for themselves even if in the end it is without their parents. Parents you are not responsible for the decisions of your kids...sometimes hard love is just what they need. You gave them all your could and they still choose wrong. Look at God, he gave Adam and Eve everything they ever needed and they sinned and their kids sinned. God did not blame himself, he blamed them. Yes, his heart hurt for them, he was deeply troubled (Genesis 6:5-8) but he turn from them (withdrew). He wiped the earth of them. Ouch, pretty hard love don't you think?
Hard love, is just as it sounds hard! But how are you affecting your loved ones future and life potential if you keep making excuses for them, picking them up when they fall, or paying for their bad choices? What kind of life will you have if you blame yourself for their mistakes? What are the consequences of your actions in their lives? Are they learning from their mistakes and bad decisions or are they just repeating them knowing that someone else will be there to clean it up. Parents we've lived our lives and we've all messed up and it may have affected our kids in some way, but where does the blame game stop??? You've managed to learn from your mistakes and maybe your kids are repeating them but ask yourself how did you get through that and are you better for your suffering and hard work?
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